How many camels am I worth?

According to this piece of rubbish, I’m worth 31 camels, 7 goats and 0 sheep. Good to know. I was sure worried.

I’m having trouble processing the fact that this website exists. I’m addicted to StumbleUpon and it frequently shows me sexist “jokes” and even though I always give them a thumbs-down, I don’t think the algorithm can figure out why. So the sexism continues.

But it’s usually more subtle– stuff like this or this. Stuff reinforcing mainstream narratives about women that are indefensibly sexist but still, well, mainstream. The kind of stuff I can’t usually “prove” to be sexist to my real-life acquaintances.

But actually calculating a woman’s value as a human being based on whether her spirit is, “an obedient little helper,” “somewhat needy,” “a free thinker,” or “a naughty, naughty girl”?!? It’s so…blatant.

Half of what annoys me is the fact that you can’t pick negative options to intentionally get a lot score (unlike on the 1930s wife/husband test — I was an okay-ish wife, but a much better husband.) All the choices here are tainted with smarmy sexism– I mean, maybe it’s just me, but it’s always trolls who identify themselves as “free thinker.” I’m an angry hairy-legged lesbian feminist– that’s not just “free thinker.” But there’s no way I’m saying “naughty, naughty girl.”

And “how is she in the kitchen”? “I do all the cooking” and “I can sometimes swallow her food” clearly play into the tropes of the wife who is an awful cook but doesn’t realize it (and are not true of me, as I enjoy cooking), “she makes great cakes!” is condescending, dismissive, and conjures an idea of a sweet, sugary, pink-loving girl, and “she’s fine there, thanks” just squicks me out. Not, “she’s an okay cook” or “”her food’s fine” but “she’s fine there, thanks.” Like, “no worries, I keep her there like I’m supposed to, barefoot and pregnant.”

I don’t know, I’m at a loss trying to pull this apart and figure out what’s going on. It’s just so wrong. (Not even touching the hints of racism regarding the equating-women-to-camels-like-those-Arabs)

But it’s getting great reviews from everyone else on StumbleUpon! Even women!

What is wrong with people?!

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3 Responses to How many camels am I worth?

  1. Colleen says:

    I’m worth 4 camels, but I wasn’t worth any before I realized that the thing asked for my weight in kilograms, not pounds. Tells you a lot about the criteria.

  2. eloriane says:

    I’m envious of your low score, actually. I don’t want these kinds of guys to value me!

    As far as I can tell, the optimal woman (96 camels!) is 16 years old, 50 kilograms (110 pounds), a silky-smooth redhead, who is a “naughty, naughty girl” who “sometimes goes outside without my permission, the brat,” has sex 5-7 times a week, “cleans my plates after she cooks for me” as a profession, and as for the kitchen: “she’s fine there, thanks.”

  3. Colleen says:

    Eeewwwwww. Now I’m even more glad that I think I had all the worst answers for everything. Of course, mine is a fairly feminist relationship, so it’s pretty easy to see what these guys are afraid of.

    For the record, I think this site is basically a massive troll, because there’s a link at the bottom that says, “Offended? Insulted? Send us Hate Mail!”

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