Petty Rant #372: Learn To Google

Hey, Lionhead Studios! I’m kind of excited about Fable II (since you finally realized that a game that’s all about choice probably ought to let you choose a gender) but man did your ads make me wince today.

I mean, I kind of hate the fake olde-tymey “rollover to divine thy destiny” to begin with (especially since “rollover” is such a completely modern word that it makes the whole thing awkward.) But if you’re going to make animated, expensive ads and plaster them everywhere, maybe do some grammar-checking first. So you don’t look stupid by doing this:

“Enter THINE date of birth”? Really? THINE?

Now, maybe I’ve read more historical fiction and fantasy (and Shakespeare) than most people, but that sounded wrong immediately. Just to confirm, I did some googling, and lo! All you have to do is type in “thy thine” and hit search, and literally millions of websites will appear with helpful explanations. I sampled the first six, and they all said, in nice simple small words, that “thy” is singular and “thine” is plural. “Thine” can also be used as a singular when in front of a vowel, but I’m afraid “date” pretty obviously begins with a consonant.

So: Thy boss ought to flog thee. Thine advertisement containeth an error. It maketh me reluctant to become a customer of thine.

(Side note: I haven’t seen them make this error, but too many people do when trying to sound olde-tymey. Verbs only end in “eth” when, in the modern usage, they would end in “s.” So, no, these advertisements do not “faileth.” They just fail.)

I’m not saying everyone should know this. I’m saying one of the highly-paid graphic designers, copy writers, or advertising managers should have known. Or at least checked. If you aren’t sure of something, before you commit gazillions of dollars to something, just look it up.

That’s really what bothers me about this ad. Not that they made an obscure grammatical error, but that no one in the entire ad-creation process cared enough to do a simple google search to make sure they had it right.


12 Responses to Petty Rant #372: Learn To Google

  1. Becca says:

    Hey. I don’t really have a specific comment about this post— i just wanted to say that I’ve been reading your blog and it’s very funny/entertaining/insightful. This post just made me laugh.

    (Oddly I found this blog by doing a google search of Xena episode critiques because i am currently watching the series for the first time and am really dying to talk/read about them, haha)

  2. eloriane says:

    Hey, great to hear from you! It’s always good to know my writing is working for someone 🙂

    And I get a TON of my readers from Xena. At least you had innocent Xena-related motivations! I always feel a little sorry for the people who are searching “Xena Gabrielle lesbian sex” and “Xena pregnant naked.” I know they must be so disappointed when they read my blog and it’s not risque at all.

    Where are you in the series, by the way? I just finished the musical episode in season 3 (and oh man, I have to write about it soon). Anything in particular that you thought deserved attention? I’m trying to build up a backlog, since I’m heading out of town for a week, and I could use the inspiration!

  3. Becca says:

    I’m up to Season 2 Episode 15.

    I’ve been an enormous Buffy fan since the show aired (watched it as i was growing up, etc etc) and I think its quite amazing how many similarities there are between the two shows. For example, I’m not sure if you’re familiar with buffy but the episode “The Wish” (3×09) is practically the exact same as the Xena episode “remember nothing” (2×02). There are lots of other episodes that i’ve seen so far that have similar plots/ character twists as well.

    and well, also as i watch Xena it is striking to me that there are so many female characters, both good and evil. Which, obviously, I think is pretty awesome. But because of it, there is such an overwhelming sense of female power in Xena that i almost think its one of a kind. For one of my WMST classes i had to write about the character genre of the Women Warrior and how frequently their quests involve and/or center around acquiring a sword (which generally becomes a symbol of male power)— Xena’s chakhram? totally female. totally unique. totally badass.

    sorry this sort of became a tad bit long…. but yeah!

  4. eloriane says:

    No, you’re totally right! I haven’t seen much Buffy but my understanding is that it was in a lot of ways “Xena for a new generation.” But Xena did it all first 🙂

    They were terrifically innovative, doing things that were unheard of for television (like the musical episode!) and they were also terrifically feminist. I think every time I write about Xena, I come back to that one, beautiful fact: most of the significant characters are female. Which means, of course, that they can show an amazing spectrum of female experiences. It also means that they can do things like make Aphrodite a big-boobed blonde bimbo and it’s funny, not offensive. It’s tongue-in-cheek. It’s clear no one thinks all women are like that, of even most. And actually, for every exaggerated female character they have, there’s at least two perfectly ordinary women around.

    I think I might have a post brewing, so I’m just going to leave you with a link I’ve thrown around before: What We Owe Xena. It’s good stuff.

  5. Crowfoot says:

    Thy boss ought to flog thee. Thine advertisement containeth an error. It maketh me reluctant to become a customer of thine.

    Lol! 😀

    Hey, when you say you’re heading out of town, are you heading towards UBC and your sibling fraternity?

    (and I seriously need to watch Xena again! *peers at pocketbook*)

  6. eloriane says:

    No, that’s not til later (if at all, things are looking sadly iffy)– I’m heading to North Carolina. I’ll definitely let you know when (if? 😦 ) I’m headed towards UBC!

  7. Crowfoot says:

    Ah! Too bad about the iffy. If you do make up this way, and if you’re interested, I’d love to buy you a beer! Something locally brewed, of course. 🙂

    Or, if drinking’s not yer thing, I’ll buy you some sort of fancy coffee or tea. Vancouver’s aaaalll about the coffee these days heh. Bring an umbrella O.o

    I’ll cross my fingers for more travel mojo for you. Everyone needs more travel mojo.

  8. eloriane says:

    I’d love the chance to meet you! Maybe if the road trip falls through, I can contrive a trip to visit my crazy uncle who lives in BC. I don’t like him very much, as he was cruel to my dog (and it takes a special kind of unpleasant to be cruel to a maltese) but his wife is one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met.

    I’m only 19, so…I actually can drink in BC. Huh. I’d probably prefer the tea regardless; alcohol appears to be an acquired taste, like coffee, which I cannot acquire.

  9. Crowfoot says:

    ah yes. alcohol is rather… gross in some ways lol! As is coffee, come to think of it. I do know of some fancy tea places tho 🙂 Sorry to hear of your crazy uncle. Mean to the dog? I wouldn’t like him either. I’m deeply protective of my animals, and animals in general. I hope he’s not mean to your aunt 😦

    I’d like to meet you too 🙂 I’m a tad older: 41! Going on 27 tho, I think, heh.

    (k I REALLY AM going to turn off the browser now and get to work!)

  10. eloriane says:

    He was only a little mean. He’d offer her a cracker or something and then at the last second eat it himself. And if he was washing his hands or something, he’d flick water onto her, even though he knew she hates water (like a cat). But still. Would you taunt this dog? Or would you cuddle her forever?

    He’s mostly just socially awkward, though. Part of what made it weird was that last summer was the first time I’d ever met him. Who waits until their niece is 18 before going to see her? (And my brothers were 15 and 12). But he and my aunt have offered to let me stay with them a couple times, and it could be fun.

    All my internet friends are older than me, it seems. No matter! If I’m ever near BC, we’ll definitely go to that tea place 🙂

    Now get to work! 😀

  11. Crowfoot says:

    *looks at fuzzy whiteness* zomg so cute! *dies*

    Ok he doesn’t sound *that* bad, but yeah, like he doesn’t know what’s fun for the dog, and what’s not?

    anyways, hope to see you in the Wet Coast sometime 🙂

  12. […] us in-game stuff!). It still says “enter thine date of birth,” which, as you know, infuriates me, but I’m more interested in the section where you basically pick a wife by picking a woman to […]

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