Sorry to disappoint…

But all of you who have found this blog with the simple search term “lucario”… all 259 of you… I’m not really into Pokemon. Same goes for those of you who seek “lucario pokemon,” “pokemon lucario,” and “how to draw lucario.” But, uh, enjoy my vaguely restrained rant about Super Smash Bros? Unfortunately, it does not feature “super smash brothers having sex,” so you’re still out of luck. All three of you.

Also, I do love me some Xena here. But for those of you who are searching for “xena is in love,” “xena and her lover get naked,” “xena has sex,” and “xena pregnant”… I hate to break it to you, but you’re probably in the wrong place. And you’re missing the verb in that last one; try “xena gets pregnant.” Also, consider the somewhat more concise phrase, “first comes love, then come marriage, then comes xena with a baby carriage.” It’s still wordy, but it has a certain elegance to it.

I haven’t really been looking at people’s search terms until now, which makes it extra-bizarre to suddenly find this list. For example, “clean shaven lesbo” and “bi-curious boys” — what in the world brought you to this site? I mean, I can almost understand Gender Goggles showing up as one of the results, but why would you click that link?

Ditto for all ten of you who have found us by googling “http://lafemmereel.com”– you know the URL of the site you’re trying to reach! You know it’s not gendergoggles.com! Did you just mis-click? Ten times?

There are a couple people finding this site via viewpoints that I can’t help but oppose. Six searches for “rune factory gay,” and one for “thelma and louise+anti-feminist”!

There are also tons I totally agree with– “don’t like lucy across the universe,” for example–  but in which category should I put “being female is a curse”? I mean, sure, it’s rough sometimes, but I blame the patriarchy. The X chromosomes themselves aren’t too bad.

Finally, the Tegan and Sara song I blogged a while back seems to be bringing in a lot of people having relationship conflicts. Lots of people asking “when is someone deemed to be unfaithful” (answer: when they do something that you explicity or implicitly agreed they would not do!). Not sure what “i just want i’m not unfaithfull” is looking for, but, uh, see the answer to number one? My favourite, though, is the one that just declared: “i am not unfaithful.” Great! Why are you googling it, again?

I take some comfort in the fact that even though “lucario” remains the most popular search term, “gender goggles” is at least second. Sure, it’s 61 for “gender goggles” compared to 259 for “lucario”… but at least it beats “how many camels am i worth”!

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