Oh, Nintendo…

Now, I am kind of gameboy’s bitch. I have bought every single gameboy released, and although I currently adore my DS lite, the odds that I’ll buy whatever their next console is… well, I wouldn’t bet against it. I’ve bought all their larger consoles too, since the N64 anyway, but it’s the gameboy that I can’t live without and take with me everywhere.

I love gameboy games because it’s usually pretty easy for me to find games that don’t involve killing anything, i.e., GURL games. So when I brought a bunch of our old Xbox and Wii games to a GameStop to trade them in for cash (over $100! Woo!), I headed straight to the wall of DS games to browse while I waited. I’d remembered seeing a ton of really cool-looking games in a London airport recently, where I hadn’t bought them because they were priced in pounds, and I was hoping to find the same vaguely-remembered games way cheaper. I still don’t remember much about the games except that they were drawing-based and plot-light. If you have recommendations, let me know!

I need those recommendations, because front and center of the DS section of my GameStop looked like this:


How pink!

How precious!

How precious!

How many more of these are there!

How many more of these are there!

Oh, OK, only two more!

How nice that they saved the worst for last!

Ballet star! Cheerleader! Fashion designer! Fashion designer New York! Figure skater! Interior designer! Movie star! Rock star! Teacher! Wedding designer! It’s almost like someone told Nintendo that their games were popular with girls, so they set out to make as many Girl Games as possible!

I’m actually really curious about how they could possibly have turned all these different “careers” into halfway decent games, let alone games that bear some resemblance to each other, structurally. Seeing a blitz of titles like that really makes me think that they whipped them out as quickly as possible, without much thought for any individual title, in order to make as much money as possible off of these sudden Girl Gamers.

And, okay, on the one hand, it’s great that someone has finally noticed that there are some girls out there who want to play video games but maybe aren’t so crazy about the whole wanton murder thing! But there are some guys like that, too. And it’s nothing but depressing that this is the range of concepts that Imagine felt would appeal to girls. Four kinds of designers, three kinds of skimpy-costume “athletics,” two kinds of famous-for-being-pretty jobs, and… teacher. Great.


5 Responses to Oh, Nintendo…

  1. Eleniel says:

    Yeeeah, the Imagine games are meant to be Ubisoft’s Madden: the game they can pump out cheaply that’ll sell a crapload of copies in order to subsidize their expensive AAA titles. The difference being that Madden is actually decent quality and fun for people who like that sort of thing, whereas the Imagine games are total shit.

    You’re right that it’s great someone is actually noticing girls and that they don’t necessarily want to kill things… they just need to have more of a variety and faaaar better quality!

  2. Lynn says:

    It’s true, all the ones I’d recommend (Trace Memory, the Ace Attorneys, Layton) you’ve already played.

    I’ve been pleased with the PC puzzle game ports that have been coming out for the Wii, but the DS resolution/memory doesn’t make it well suited for those.

    I am eagerly awaiting the Edgeworth game and the Layton sequel, but there aren’t any new DS properties that caught my eye.

    And in terms of Ubisoft and the Imagine series, I think I could forgive them if they would just get moving on Beyond Good and Evil 2.

  3. Greg says:

    In adventure game news: I enjoyed Time Hollow, but it was too short for the $30 I paid for it. I just noticed another adventure game, Flower, Sun and Rain, on the shelves, but apparently it’s a Playstation port and has some really awful reviews. I’m planning on waiting for the price to go down a lot.

    • Lynn says:

      I was disappointed by Time Hollow. When I heard Junko Kawano had another game out, I bought it immediately (or as soon as I could find it…it got pretty thoroughly buried)

      I wish the had used less memory on the music and animation and put more into the actual world. Half the fun of Shadow of Destiny for me was wandering through the shops and talking to the bored staff. In Time Hollow, most of them wouldn’t even appear unless they had a function.

      Also making the targets his friends and family made the story a little too dark for me. It didn’t bother me nearly so much when things happened to Eike in Shadow of Destiny. Or Hugo…feel free to drop as many houses as you like on Hugo.

  4. dirtyrose says:

    Just a quick comment that I think is important (I hadn’t seen this post before now…):

    While some women admittedly don’t want to play action/shoot ’em up games, some women DO – like myself. And yet all we’re treated to are the games geared toward men, featuring hypersexualized female characters and big husky men. There has to be something in between that balances out the stereotypes with quality action.

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