Yup, you read that right. EU bans the use of ‘Miss’ and ‘Mrs’ (and sportsmen and statesmen) because it claims they are sexist (emphasis mine.) Not, because, you know, it’s sexist.
I think I would find the over-the-top outrage a lot funnier if it wasn’t, well, sad.
No, really just read this! (I’ve inserted my own comments, but otherwise this passage is unaltered from the original.)
Instead of using the standard titles, it is asking MEPs to address women by their names.
No! Truly, society shall crumble!
And the rules have not stopped there –
they also ban MEPs saying sportsmen and statesmen, advising athletes and political leaders should be used instead.
Man-made is also taboo – it should be artificial or synthetic, firemen is disallowed and air hostesses should be called flight attendants.
Uh… really? That’s it? These seem, uh, pretty obvious to me.
Headmasters and headmistresses must be heads or head teachers, laymen becomes layperson, and manageress or mayoress should be manager or mayor.
Wait, seriously? The words manageress and mayoress actually existed? That’s about as pathetic as millionairess. And people object to eliminating them??
Police officers must be used instead of policeman and policewoman unless the officer’s sex is relevant.
The only problem words that do not fit into the guidelines are waiter and waitress, which means MEPs are at least spared one worry when ordering a coffee.
Thank goodness. I was really concerned about them. Those poor MEPS, and the loss of their mayoresses.
They have reacted with incredulity to the booklet, which has been sent out by the Secretary General of the European Parliament.
Scottish Tory MEP Struan Stevenson described the guidelines as ‘political correctness gone mad’.
Haha, this is my favourite part, this poor guy’s hilariously overwrought rant!
He said: ‘This is frankly ludicrous.
You’re frankly ludicrous, oooh! (Except actually, he kinda is. Keep reading.)
We’ve seen the EU institutions try to ban the bagpipes and dictate the shape of bananas, but now they seem determined to tell us which words we are entitled to use in our own language.
‘Gender-neutrality is really the last straw. The Thought Police are now on the rampage in the European Parliament.
Seriously, guys, it’s like, 1984 or something! Thought Police!!
‘We will soon be told that the use of the words “man” or “woman” has been banned in case it causes offence to those who consider ‘gender neutrality’ an essential part of life.’
Indeed, that slope, it is so slippery! Why, soon, women might ask that we pay them as much as we pay men who do the identical work! The horror!
In all seriousness, I’m excited about this change, and while I’d prefer for people to recognize the inequity and the role language plays in perpetuating it, and choose to alter their language accordingly, well, maybe it’ll work in the other direction, too. At the very least, this is a step in the right direction.